to love or be love?

hmmmm...been rather moody recently.. sigh i dunno wad's goin on inside my head n i really hate this kind of feelings.. some happy stuff did happen well well finally i giv u 2 my blessing..

watched the leap years not a bad film...hmmm the most common word in love letter is "miss" not "love"...y is it that??? i guess that bec the main reason we write love letters is bec we miss that person n we wanna tel that person that ba.. there this part that touched my heart... u r everything i dream of everything seem so right but at the same time it's so wrong... sigh.. wad's is it that i dream of lei? i also dunno...

well well there's this qutoe that drew my attention one's does need anyone's permission to love.. sigh i knw that can be true but can we really love without givin any tots for others.. cos it's aint juz the world for us 2 yah. i ponder wad's is it i truely wan.. what's the road of happiness like? will i ever figure it out? argh... time to catch some slp.. stupid sickness cant seem to recover.. i feel so weak got no strength for anything.. i wan to be lively again.. mayb it's time for me to go for a get a away then start everything over again ba..

i dun like to say wad is it i want.. that's my charc. and i do follow it very closely.. not everyone can understand me.. but if u try harder it's not the difficult at all.. mayb that's y i think u r not tryin hard enough...

u said u wan me to trust u but trust had to be earned.. well u did somethings that made me doubt u.. so dun blame me for acting the way i do.. if u cant accept the way i am then i guess, we r juz not meant to be.. i also dun understand y u r behaving the way u r.. juz explain yrself i'll understand.. i can be unreasonable.. i'm full of short comings, no one is prefect and i guess i'm just one of them..

the more i ponder.. the more i dig the more i feel insecure, and sad to say... u totally hav got no ideal abt wad i am thinkin abt.. mayb u juz dun care.. hey.. if u really did care more.. i think u will hav seem or read wad i write in here... sometimes i juz dunno wad i need to do.. tired. ! mayb when the time come.. the time for yr deadline i will juz hav to tel u that's some ppl r better off to remain juz as frens.. mayb that the best for u n me.. happiness was always not meant for me... 

trust?